Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You made out with two different species that night
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
