with your own penis?
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
