also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Holy shit dude........stairs
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