I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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