I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
