there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
