Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
