Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
