She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
