so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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