His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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