i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
