I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
