WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
