So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize