how can u be prego again
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
