I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
