I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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