Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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