jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
