Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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