And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
