New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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