her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize