I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
