Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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