I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I haven't been this sober since birth.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
