So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
