I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
