I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
