Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
