I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
