im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
