I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
