Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize