i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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