Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
