Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
