Already got asked if we're dating
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
