Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
