No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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