All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize