my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
