My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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