i love accidental penises.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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