your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
