apparently the secret to your success is patron
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
