me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
