I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
So. Much. Porn.
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