she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
