I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
