You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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