i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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