So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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