I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
