Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
