maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
