Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize