He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
