he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
