i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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