my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
