She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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