Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
