For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
