Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
