Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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