i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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