why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
