i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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