if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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