I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
